I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
