one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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