She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
