I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Randomize
