I didn't shave. On purpose
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize