come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
