Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Enjoy the penises
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
