she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
