mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
