There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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