never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I lost the right to judge tonight
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
