i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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