No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
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