I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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