If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
