as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
