and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
