it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
