Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
That accounts for only three of the penises
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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