we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
