well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
