I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
