Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
