i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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