Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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