Sponge bath it is.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...