If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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