My hair reeks of homosexuality.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Success! We fucked roommates!
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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