OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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