just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
