Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
