yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
