the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Is it penis luge time yet?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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