I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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