kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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