she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
