oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
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Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team