when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
