...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Randomize
