So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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