It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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