The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Randomize
