I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize