Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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