windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Randomize
