We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
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Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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