My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize