If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
