SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
