how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
