p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
