The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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