watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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