if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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