Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
