im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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