I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
