Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
