I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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