the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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