apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
