this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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