I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
