I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
