I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
