Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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