Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
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I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
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It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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