....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
