You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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