I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
nutella sex= disaster
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
we're so committed to being not committed
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
